Returning to games
Recently I’ve been looking for a way out.
Not out of any physical space or my job even. I dare say, I love my work. The out I’m looking for is my mind. That squibbly squabbly ruckus. I’ve got that Anywhere you go, you’re there thing going on where, if I try to relax by listening to music, the heat from work’s to-dos still emanates through the walls. So a way out has been a top priority.
Naps are great, but I wouldn’t want to spend the day unconscious; I have designated unconscious time already. Workouts have also been a so-so solution. While it’s been a regular part of my weekly routines, there’s only so much I can demand from my body.
Books and movies have been my de facto mental sojourns for months. Now, though, I’m reaching a point of ennui. This doesn’t mean I've grown hatred towards them. Instead, I’ll take it as a sign that there’s now a gap for another medium to occupy. One that’s ancient in my history.
Video games.
Not the online multiplayer kind either (although that’s often been my preference in games, from the original Black Ops on the PS3 to Mobile Legends on my dang phone). Those games maximum engagement for true immersion. I wanna surrender to something. The last time I did that was for Red Dead Redemption 2. God, what a game: like the richest broth of the finest ramen.
I’ve had the Bioshock Collection for ages, given to me by my friend. I’ve never played Bioshock. The stuffiness that builds in my head every week required me to open my window—and man did Bioshock clear my breathing.
Just in the first few minutes, I could feel the wrinkles of my head dissolving into some kind of mist above me. The world faded around me. I found myself in Rapture City, and I needed to kill the man named Andrew Ryan. It hooked me.
Over the next few days, I felt energized at work about having something to look forward to at the end of the day and week that didn’t involve scrolling through TikTok or Instagram. There was a story I was involved in now, and it was my responsibility as the player to unfold it.
Every time I played, I was reminded that playing these single-player games wasn’t a random indulgence. It was a necessary respite for me to create balance in my life. It’s reminded me of my love of gaming and ensured that I’m never ever gonna give it up as I grow older.